honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
