hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
This is my gift to your gina
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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