im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
