Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
