i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
