i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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