Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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