My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
