i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
