alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
