I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
