True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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