the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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