Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
