How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
