i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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