I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize