He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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