too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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