I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
