Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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