I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
