...so i touched it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
