i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
