two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
