I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
