Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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