also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize