IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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