So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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