remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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