i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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