ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
