I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
