Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
