i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
