Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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