True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
