She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
