I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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