she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
