I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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