so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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