U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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