you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
