it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
