That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
