I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
