pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
