Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
