Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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