just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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