i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
