wat bout pragnant strippers??
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
