She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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