The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize