Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
