I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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